Last Updated: May 27, 2025 (Or whenever we remember to update this. It's a parody site, folks.)
Welcome to TDS Webpage! We're thrilled you're here to enjoy our particular brand of... commentary. Because we're all about "transparency" (and because lawyers, bless their hearts, exist), here’s the lowdown on how we handle any information that might float its way to us from your general direction.
Consider this our "Trump Derangement Policy" for your data – we're mostly too busy being deranged by other things to be overly concerned with yours, but we'll do our best.
Let's be honest, this is a parody website. We're not exactly building a dossier on you. We're more interested in whether our jokes land than in your deepest, darkest secrets (unlike some other entities we could mention).
However, like virtually every other site on this big, beautiful internet, some basic, non-personally identifiable information might be automatically logged by our servers or third-party analytics services. This could include:
Log Files: Your IP address (which is like your computer's temporary mailing address, not your home address, don't panic), browser type (Chrome, Firefox, that one you shouldn't be using anymore), operating system, the pages you visited on our site, the time you spent here, and the referring website (how you found our little corner of comedic genius). We use this to see what's popular, what's falling flat, and to make sure the site isn't, you know, on fire.
Cookies (Not the Edible Kind, Sadly): These are tiny digital crumbs that websites store on your computer to remember things. We might use them for:
Basic site functionality (e.g., remembering if you've seen our "welcome" pop-up, if we had one, which we probably don't).
Analytics, to help us understand how people are using the site (e.g., "Wow, everyone loves the covfefe jokes!"). You can usually tell your browser to refuse cookies or to let you know when they're being sent. If you do, some parts of our highly sophisticated website might not work as "tremendously" as intended.
We do not knowingly collect, nor do we particularly want, your name, email address, phone number, social security number, blood type, or your secret family recipe for meatloaf, unless you voluntarily offer it through a contact form (if we ever get around to adding one).
If we do accidentally stumble upon any of the aforementioned non-personal data, we'll probably use it to:
Operate and maintain this glorious website.
Improve your experience and our "high-quality" satire.
Understand which of our "alternative facts" and parodies are the most engaging.
Monitor for security threats (because even parody sites have to worry about the "bad hombres" of the internet).
Comply with any legal obligations, though we sincerely hope it never comes to that.
We are not in the business of selling, trading, or renting your personal information. That sounds like a lot of work, and frankly, we have memes to create.
Third-Party Service Providers: We might use third-party companies for things like website analytics (e.g., Google Analytics) or hosting. These companies may have access to your non-personal information only to perform these tasks on our behalf and are obligated not to disclose or use it for any other purpose. They have their own privacy policies, which are probably much longer and more boring than this one.
Legal Requirements: If the law, or some very serious people with badges, compel us to disclose information, we will comply. We'll try to make it dramatic, though.
Our site may contain links to other websites that are not operated by us (shocking, we know). If you click on a third-party link, you will be directed to that third party's site. We strongly advise you to review the Privacy Policy of every site you visit. We have no control over and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third-party sites or services. Some links might even lead to actual news – consider yourself warned.
We take reasonable precautions to protect any information we have from loss, misuse, and unauthorized access. However, no internet transmission or electronic storage is 100% secure. So, while we strive to use commercially acceptable means to protect your information, we cannot guarantee its absolute security. We'll build a wall around it. A very small, digital wall. And make the hackers pay for it (metaphorically speaking).
This website is intended for a general audience and is not directed at children under the age of 13 (or older, depending on your local laws and their ability to understand advanced political satire). We do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from children under 13. If you are a parent or guardian and you are aware that your child has provided us with Personal Information, please contact us. If we become aware that we have collected Personal Information from children without verification of parental consent, we take steps to remove that information from our servers.
We may update this Privacy Policy from time to time. We will notify you of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page and updating the "Last Updated" date. You are advised to review this Privacy Policy periodically for any changes. Changes to this Privacy Policy are effective when they are posted on this page. It might change. Or it might not. We like to keep you guessing. It's a strategy.
If you have any questions about this Privacy Policy, or if you've come up with a killer parody idea you're willing to share, you can contact us at:
contact@geminor.cloud
Now, go enjoy the website and try not to take things too seriously. It's parody, after all.